Forgetting Happiness
by shininstar95
Summary: A Yul story. He deserves happiness, no?
1. Intro

So, I'm the kind of person who loves introductions. You can skip this if you want, but this kind of explains things in the story. This is one of those stories when one inserts themselves as a main character, and perfects themselves to seem more attractive. I will not tell you what I changed, what I kept the same. It's not necessary. The reason I started this story is because there is only one other with Yul in it, and that made me depressed. I may not make this story any longer if no-one reads it, so review so I know someone is interested!

Anyways, Happy Reading!

Shininstar95


	2. Chapter 1: Fate's Game

Yul POV

I stood in line behind a family of three, the little boy tightly grasping his father's hand. Although I was supposed to be deciding what to order, my eyes kept sliding for the exaggerated pictures of the food above the cashier's head to the boy's hand, reliving my memories of a happier time. The family turned away, happy meal in hand, and I stepped forward to place my order.

As one of the workers placed my undecorated sandwich on the tray in front of me, I heard a voice say, "but I can't even taste the caramel!" I turned and collided with something, and was completely drenched in scorching hot liquid. "Oh dear…' I heard the same voice sigh. The body I crashed into disappeared for a second, only to reappear with napkins to dab on my jacket and shirt, which thankfully received a minimal amount of damage.

"This is so something she would do…" passed through my conscious, only to be followed by a "no, you must not think of her." My "Yah, ottokae?" must have been not as inaudible as I thought, for the being who was dabbing at me reacted to it.

"Oh. Korean. Er… I know this… Oh, yeah! Mianhamnida!" I chuckled at the uncertainty in the girl's voice. She took it as a sign of forgiveness and left to buy me my meager lunch, which was now on the floor, and her drink, this time with extra caramel. I stayed rooted to my spot, only half aware of surroundings. This girl seemed so much like ChaeKyung. It was when she offered me the chicken sandwich, this one with more than just bread and a patty, that I finally took a look at her. Although her mannerisms were exactly like her, ChaeKyung and this girl looked nothing alike. Her eyes were black and expressionless, unlike the warm brown that he was accustomed to. Her eyebrows, now creaseless as she stared back at me, seemed to be the only form of expression. This girl's skin was not the cream of a cup of café au lait, but the color of milk chocolate, untouched by nay sort of makeup. The nose was petite and fitting, but the lips were nowhere near the perfection of ChaeKyung's. I grabbed my sandwich and walked away. Anyone who reminded me of what was left behind was not to be meddled with: it was too painful. As I sat at one of the high stools near the window, I saw the coffee girl being pulled out the door by whomever she was speaking to before.

Mary POV

As I was being dragged out by a friend eager to get home, I wondered if I'd ever meet the strange boy again. Probably not, as we were all the way out in Indiana, only for a young adult conference that had taken place earlier in the week. Chances of going back and bumping into someone who could have been form anywhere in the world were unlikely. Once on the freeway, conversation became easy again to our group of girls. "How rude was that guy back there!" Melissa exclaimed.

"Nah, Mel, he was sad about something. Really depressed, actually, you could see it in his eyes."

"You and your face reading. How do you even know it works?" she teased.

"It worked on you, didn't it?" Melissa's grin disappeared, and a small note of agreement left her lips. The rest of the trip I was left to wonder what had made that boy so sad. Once I got home, however, I was smothered in love from family that had come from all over the country to congratulate me on getting into the college I wanted, and their attention erased any thoughts of the brooding man from my mind.


	3. Chapter 2: Cinnamon Rolls

Yul POV

I looked around as I rode up to the campus and sighed. I wanted to be inconspicuous, not be surrounded by those who know me, but maybe I had gone too far. Of all places, I came to America, to Michigan. The land of opportunity, or at least it was before the recession. It was the perfect place to go unnoticed. Did these people even know Korea existed? I had so many people ask me if I was Chinese. Of course, there was coffee girl. I whipped out my sketch pad again, trying to capture her essence, but as always, I could only remember her eyes, which had been already traced multiple times. Another sigh. ChaeKyung had told me to draw what was interesting as I set out, telling me she wanted me to show her the world she wouldn't be able to experience. Of course, there was no way to meet up with her again, it wouldn't be allowed, but I love her too much to not agree with her request, even if it killed me…

I entered my dorm room, only to find the other half already trashed by what had to be my roommate. A petite Korean boy, sopping wet with a towel around his waist, came out of the bathroom, scratching his head. He saw me, and immediately stood to attention. "Your majesty! Thanks so much for sponsoring me to be your roommate. I hope I can make your stay here comfortable. But not in an hotel kind of way. Heh. " The boy whistled, and proceeded to mutter, "It's almost like one in here, though. Cambridge House, huh? Only the best." Tired of letting him assume things, I began to reprimand the way only royals could.

"My mother insisted. Please, treat me like anyone else. If you can't I'm sure she'll find someone else to take your place…"

"Robert. My name is Robert." The boy's phone began to ring, and after nodding in understanding at me, began to answer. "Hello?"

"Robert! You texted me at 11 last night to tell me you found a way to dorm? What happened? No, tell me where it is, first!" The girl on the phone was so loud it was difficult not to make out her words. But the voice sounded slightly familiar.

"Er… Cambridge house…" The girl on the other end gave a shout of surprise.

"How is that even… No, never mind, which room? I'm in the west quad, so I'm coming right now." The girl seemed to realized Robert was uncomfortable with this, and added, "I have cinnamon buns!" With a note of surrender, he gave her the room number, and looked at me with apologetic eyes.

"I have a friend coming in fifteen minutes, and she's kind of obnoxious, so if you want to leave…"

I chuckled. "That's okay, I'll just shower and leave, I want to explore the campus anyhow…" I pulled out a towel and clean clothes and headed to the bathroom. "Can I use your soap? Kumowo."

Mary POV

Just as I was about to kick open the door to Robert's room (I was holding a try with hot cocoa packets, a flask of hot water, and Ikea Cinnamon Rolls, the door was pulled open by the boy who she had spilled coffee on a week earlier. I fell forward, and my face immediately warmed. Luckily for me, dirt brown skin covers up any signs of blushing. The guy, however, would have seemed totally unaware of my presence if it weren't for the slight arch of his right eyebrow. "Hehe. I didn't spill anything this time…" managed to escape my lips. He smirked at me and moved out of the way, his eyes, still filled with some kind of sadness, not moving from her face. Accepting that as an invitation, I stepped inside and exclaimed, "Robert, I have cinnamon rolls!" I turned back to see if the mysterious guy was there, but he was gone. Turning back, she saw Robert give her a look as if to say, "I completely forgot you were coming."


	4. Chapter 3: Rumors

**For those of you who had been looking forward to this, I really apologize for all the late. School's been, well, you know. But here it is. And I'm planning to add more later these two weeks. IF YOU REVIEW. So if you have a few spare minutes, and are enjoying my story, tell me what you thin. If this is bad, tell me how to improve, please!**

Mary POV

I stood at the countertop in Robert's room, pouring hot chocolate into two mugs and arranging the cookies on a platter. He had given me a tour of both his room and the posh side of Cambridge house. It was amazing how, even though both the west quad where I was to live and Cambridge House were connected, the quality of life was much superoir on the other side. I turned my attention back to the job at hand. Sugar cookies, chocolate chip, and macadamia. Each type had a column, and then was arranged by size. "So…" I started, trying to be nonchalant, "What's the deal with your roommate? He seemed in a… hurry to get out of here." I turned my head back to the cookies, absorbing their smell. One of the cookies was the same size as the one next to it, and I removed it and stuck it in my mouth before placing the platter in front of Robert with the mug turned just so.

"Well, for starters, he's a prince…" I adjusted some of the jostled cookies, and then nodded before backing away, observing the aesthetic of my arrangement from afar.

"Yes, yes, he's very attractive. I _did_ see him. Now, what's really wrong with him?" I asked, sitting on the couch parallel to the bed Robert was seated on.

"I'm not joking. He's a prince, the Crown Prince's cousin. He wanted to usurp the title, so he was banished. That's all the public was told." He gave me a look before hesitantly reaching for a chocolate chip cookie.

"That doesn't make sense, though." I remembered the boy's eyes, slightly glazed by the sadness he seemed to be leaving behind. "He doesn't seem power-hungry, just…"

"Lovelorn?" Robert's eyes looked at me with an eyebrow raised. I could practically see the gears in his head turning as he chewed on the cookie he had finally gathered the guts to pick up. "I mean, you can read people like a book. And since there's a rumor going around…"

"It's more than a rumor." A deep, heavily accented voice made the two of us jump. The prince was standing at the doorway, smirking. He made his way over to me, and leaned over. His breath tickled my forehead as he began speaking, and slowly traveled down my face. "I was deprived of my mother's love as a little boy. So I forced myself on countless women." We were eye to eye now, and although he looked like he enjoyed tormenting me, it seemed forced. "I was banished once I tried to take the Crown Princess." He snorted. "The girl actually thought I was in love with her. Ha! Of course, without that working out, I would have been dead-"

"You're lying." I knew this, could feel it. The man would not feel the remorse that laced his last couple words had he really been some sort of serial rapist. His façade dropped for a second, leaving his face full of pain and surprise, before turning cold and calculating again.

His smirk widened into a grin. "Robert," He started, before turning around," I'd like a tour. Of Ann Arbor, if you're not busy."

The small boy stuttered out a, "Yes, your maj-" before being interrupted.

"Yul. I want you to call me Yul. Please." The smile he gave Robert warm, desperate for a friend. "I'll wait by the car. Get ready and meet me."

He made to leave, and I called out "Yul. It's nice to meet you. I hope we get to know each other." I mustered out my warmest smile. I wasn't scared of him, and he needed to know I didn't believe a word of his little story. He turned around with a steely gaze, trying to hold back the emotion that had him close to shaking. "I'll leave my cookies here. Try one." I kept my eyes on him as I walked closer, and finally broke our gaze as I began to head for the door. "See you around, _chingu_"


	5. Chapter 4: Feeling, Forgetting

**I LIED. Two chapters today. Since I have no life. Hopefully, neither do you, and you're reading this. THANK YOU. I'm also broke, so I don't own Goong. Too bad.**

Yul POV

I staggered to the car that had been delivered when I was on my walk. I wasn't sure what to be more surprised about. Firstly, there were rumors being spread about me that were actually true. Or, wait, were they? The pipsqueak had not actually stated what the rumor was. Had he given away unnecessary information? The boy would probably tell his family, and the next thing he knew the paparazzi would be all over ChaeKyung. Just as bad was the option of one of those two telling their friends, and I'd have to move. Again. What was I thinking? So what if his roommate told one person. And on top of it, the girl he had told… she was different. She hadn't reacted, at all. If a guy I barely knew told me he was a rapist, I would have called… what was the number here? 911. It didn't matter that he was a guy. But, the way she looked at me. Did she pity me? Was that what it was all about? I need no more pity. The way ChaeKyung had looked at him was enough. If she was so sorry for falling in love with that bastard, then she should have come running to me. I would have accepted her with open arms. She was the only person who cared, and in the end, not even she wanted me. I unlocked the doors and slid into the tinted car before my rogue tears spilled over. I was still so weak. What could possibly give me a reason to stay strong, anyways? All I valued lay in the dust, stepped on and mangled. I heard a tapping on the window, and, forgetting my tear streaked face, rolled the window down. A thin brown hand came through the window holding a handkerchief embroidered with the name "Mary". I looked out to see the girl from before yet again, with a soft, forgiving smile.

"Just forget it, if it hurts you that much. Make new memories." She just stood there, looking at him, her hand still holding the hanky.

" But I don't want to forget. Contrary to what I look right now," I gestured to myself and managed a chuckle "I was happy."

"Well, I don't know what's going on. And I don't expect you to tell a complete stranger why you're bawling your eyes out in a badly tinted… wait, is this a Bugatti? Sweet…"

"I was not bawling! Merely expressing my emotions in a bout of uncommon weakness." She looked at me for a couple seconds and then broke out into laughter. Her laugh was loud and rough, starting out silent before breaking out into randomly sequenced squeaks of joy, before finally forming into a real laugh. I don't think I've ever heard anything stranger.

"That's a good one! Could I use that? In the future?" She looked at me again, her face shining and her eyes joyfully pleading.

"I can't see you crying about anything…" That was the wrong thing to say. The joy was gone from her face, and was back to a soft look of pity. I wonder if the pity was for me, or for her.

"I'm learning, just like you. One thing I've learned is that forgetting, although hard, is the quickest way to recover. And, surprisingly, forgetting the sad means also, momentarily, forgetting happiness" She dropped the hanky in my lap. "You might want to use that. You look pathetic" The smile she flashed me was sad, but I only caught a glimpse of it before she slowly sauntered away.


	6. Chapter 5: Heating the Seats

_**Okay, so I haven't updated in, well, a long time. I've had school, I just wrapped up midterms, and things have been hectic. But, it seems to be a good thing, because I sat down and wrote this in one go. And it's my longest chapter yet. (hopefully, increasing quantity doesn't do anything to quality) Oh, and by the way, it's not edited. So tell me if you find something. And if you don't, still tell me something, so that I know someone's still reading. Please.**_

Mary POV

I trudged up the street, mumbling underneath my breath. I hate Michigan weather. I had a plan all set out, an exercise plan that would guarantee some degree of fitness by the end of the year. In the fall, I explored. After and in between my classes, I would walk around campus, map in hand, just figuring out where things were and shortcuts to get to them. Sometimes, I would drag Robert with me, and just talk to him, munching on some sort of snack as we discovered various nooks and crannies with good shade and a great view, and just do our homework. As I made friends, I took them with me, and we established meeting spots and study spots and what not. I never really traveled too far, though. The buses and other transportation vehicles helped me travel really far. I had planned that in the winter, as coursework got a little harder and I'd be preparing for finals. I would take the bus to my classes, and my exercise would be walking to a relatively distant bus stop that would take me to my classes on the other side of campus. But, of course, Michigan didn't want winter this year. The weather may have been a bit chilly, but we were getting more rain than snow. And my superego would not let me take the easy way out, so I was guilted into to walk to an even farther bus stop. Today, when there was no chance of precipitation, the temperature had dropped to below freezing. That, of course, didn't make it any harder to walk on the dry streets, so I stuck to my plan of walking far. Stupid conscious. I pulled my knitted charcoal beanie a little farther down my ears. When I bought it, it was to match my new red wool coat, knee length and fastened three times across the chest with charcoal buttons that matched the afore mentioned hat and knit mittens. But it didn't do much to protect against a bitingly cold breeze. I probably looked cute when I was standing up strait. But hunched over to avoid the wind? Not so much. At this point, I would have to travel the same distance no matter which stop I went to, so I decided to just keep going. I started singing an improvised version of Dory's "Just Keep Swimming" in my head. I was so wrapped up in my musings that I didn't even notice a black Audi slowly rolling alongside me, keeping my pace, until a friendly (and admittedly, cute) pedestrian tapped me and pointed to it. I turned and saw the Prince himself grinning back at me.

"Well, aren't you a sight." I rolled my eyes. I had completely avoided the Prince after our little encounter on the first day. I felt it was better for his pride, and my face (fangirls were ruthless) if I acted like I only barely knew his name. Of course, he still acknowledged me, nodding and sometimes even smiling in my direction. I usually just smiled back and just went on my way on those occasions. I was usually running to class when I saw him, anyways. No-one, not even a Prince, is worthy of getting me a bad reputation as someone who's always tardy. I looked around. His desperate puppies weren't anywhere to be found. They were probably still getting their beauty sleep. I turned back to him when he started speaking again. "Isn't this just wonderful weather?" I grunted and began walking again. "Hey, wait!" I stopped and turned again, hand on hip.

"Is there a reason you want me to be late to class?"

"Actually, I'm trying to keep that from happening."

"Yes, well, let's keep moving. You may not realize it inside that toasty little sports car, but it's kind of cold out here. And I might freeze if I don't keep moving." I flashed a grin before turning ninety degrees and moving forward with a slight stomp in my step.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure how toasty it is in here. Would you like to test it out?"

I turned and looked at him, eyes widened and a real smile on my face. "You're joking." At the slight shake of his head, I bounded over and eagerly slid into the heated seat. "You know, you shouldn't turn on the seat heater unless someone's sitting in it. Not that I'm complaining." He only smirked. "What are you doing out here, any ways? I've never seen you out this early."

He gave an awkward cough, and kept his eyes one the road. "Don't think I'm weird for saying this." He started somewhat ashamedly, and then looked at me with slightly pleading eyes. I nodded, allowing him to continue without interruptions. He turned back to the road. "Well, I was coming back from my morning run, and I saw you leaving the dorms and walking past the bus stop. I figured you'd get cold eventually, so I decided to shower and dress and come after you before you froze your butt off."

I looked at the road as well, blushing profusely – not that he could tell. When I saw all the bimbos surrounding him all the time, I figured that he was the type to enjoy that sort of attention. Of course, there were girls who in love with his reputation. He was a rich artistic prince who was kicked out of his country for unknown reasons. He was the perfect mix of bad boy and softie. I never imagined him to be this much a softie, though. It was really kind of him to look after his roommate's friend like that. I felt guilty for my negative opinion of him. He was beginning to look worried about my silent response to his explanation, so I decided to speak up. "That was really sweet of you. Thank you." He gave me a small smile and we rode to my classes in comfortable silence. I got out of his car in front of the building where my morning class was held, and leaned in as if to thank him once more. Instead, I said, "You know Yul, whatever remnant I had of your bad boy image is gone, now." I smiled at him, stood up straight, closed the door, and walked inside, not looking back no matter how much I wanted to.

Yul POV

I'm actually glad that she hadn't turned around. She could have probably seen the bright of my face through the window. She reminded me so much of ChaeKyung sometimes - and then she'd turn around and completely dispel any idea of them being alike. It seemed like she was doing the same thing she did the first day I met her when she spilled coffee on me, over and over. He eyes were kind and sweet just like ChaeKyung's, but black and fiesty, unlike her warm brown ones. Thinking about ChaeKyung allowed an involuntary tear to slip down my cheek. I knew she was also asked to leave the country a while, under the disguise that she was studying. I wasn't allowed any more information than that, though. I wanted to know where she was. I wouldn't go to see her, no, I didn't want to. It'd be much to complicated for me if I saw her. I just wanted to send her a letter, an email, ask her how she's doing. I wanted to tell her about the friends i had made, about Robert, about Mary. Maybe if she knew about Mary, she wouldn't worry about me. She'd understand that I was healing, away from her and my mother. Mary was so different. She avoided me, but when I smiled at her, she'd smile back. Girls in her proximity would come running to talk to me, thinking the smile was for them, but she would just walk away, to her class. In her eyes, I was just like everyone else. I didn't get the disdain I usually felt from the Royal Family, the ChaeKyung's sorrowful pity, or the reverence I received from the other commoners. She had a way of looking at me that was distinctly hers. I was really glad that I had made a friend of her through Robert. I thought I would be even more of a loner than I was in Korea, where all I had was ChaeKyung. But I'm not complaining. I loved being with her. I loved her. And now… I miss her.

_**I'm sorry if that last bit was cheesy. I just felt like I should get out that, right now, they barely know each other, so he was just looking out for a friend. He still loves ChaeKyung. Love can't just be erased like that, you know? Anyways, comment, tell me something, ANYTHING. Or I will lose the will to update.**_


	7. Chapter 7: Almost Here

Yul's POV

Christmas. I suppose, in Korea, it wasn't considered as big of a deal as it is here. It was a day that meant you had to take your girlfriend out on a date – if you had one, that is. If not, you could go out drinking with your friends while you bemoan your lack of physical appeal. In the UK, it was a family deal as well, but no one did it like the Americans. Shop windows were decorated in every color, red and green most predominant. Students became anxious to get home and stuff themselves with their mother's cooking and tended to forget completely the stress of exams.

I, on the other hand, had nothing to do but study. I was banned from going home and seeing my mother, and she was the only family I had left. The Korean government would not let me back in for such a petty event as Christmas. The dorms were forever open to me, of course, and I would always have the money to pay for it. But even Robert, the awkward friend that he had become, was going home for Christmas. And he had not offered to take me with him. I understood, I guess. Who wants to impress royalty on Christmas morning rather than rushing down the stairs, infected by the excitement of your younger siblings, and ripping off the wrapping on your gifts? That was another problem. Robert's parents would have taken it upon themselves to buy me a gift. One that they assumed would be fit for a wayward prince. One they would have told their children they could not afford. All in all, it was not rational to invite me for Christmas break – who knew what plans they had? But I was still felt lonely, contemplating what was to come.

I'm sitting alone in the library, near the door. I liked hearing the chatter of people turn into a hush as they walked through the doors, reverent as though they were attending church. I felt a cold gale and looked up to see a solitary brunette with long curls and a multicolored scarf walking through the doors. Her coat was so thin – how was she still alive in this cold air? She searched around, and then her eyes met mine. Oh dear, I recognized her now. She was in two of my classes. And she was clingy. She strolled over to me, her gait confident, and then pulled out the chair right across the table from mine.

"Hey, Yul." Was her voice lower than usual? Or was that just me?

"Um… Hi. You're…" I never bothered to learn her name. She always introduced herself as it was.

"Danielle. I'm in your sculptures class… and Studies of Modern Art." Never mind. Her voice was back to normal now. "So, I heard something interesting." Maybe she had a cold. Or else why would her voice be going back and forth like that?

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. Is it true that in your country Christmas is an event where you go on a romantic date?"

Well, yes, but I didn't want her to know that. "Where did you learn that?"

"I learned it from a manga. I started reading them as soon as I found out you weren't a Chinese prince, but a Japanese one! I felt so stupid when I found out!" She seemed really excited over her stupidity. She had better be prepared to feel stupid again.

"Danielle, I'm not Japanese."

She giggled. Wait, why was she giggling? "You're so funny, Yul. Where else could you be from, China and Japan are like the only countries in Asia with yellow people. "

"Are you sure you're in college?" I couldn't believe what had just come out of her mouth.

She attempted to laugh cutely. It didn't work. "Yul, you're so funny. Of course I'm in college if I have classes with you."

Now I was just getting irritated. Do girls this stupid actually exist? "Well, you obviously don't do so well in your social studies classes."

"Well, I don't take any. I don't take any academic courses, actually." She said academic as though it were a disease, something one wouldn't want to get anywhere near. "I'm really horrible at math. And pretty much anything that requires book smarts. I got into U of M on an art scholarship, because they loved my sketches. I want to be a fashion designer. And that's all I could ever be."

Oh dear Lord. She was an idiot. It was time to take a stand and leave. There was no way I was going to tolerate her again. But then another cold breeze came our way. Danielle shivered, and I looked up in surprise. Rather than becoming quiet, someone had let out a huge guffaw as they walked through the doors. It was Mary, of course. She found me looking at her, and sent a warm smile my way. This was perfect. I could use her as my escape plan.

"Mary!" I yelled, taking her, and all the other attendants to the library, by surprise. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you?" I sauntered over to her and then finally noticed the looks her companions were giving me. Their eyes flitted between the both of us as I put my hand on her elbow, and then to Danielle, who was probably standing behind me in utter shock. "I thought you weren't coming."

The confused look she was giving me is so much like ChaeKyung when she didn't understand something – all intelligence was wiped from her face as she looked at me with an open mouth. Goodness, that look was so cute on ChaeKyung – wait, no, what am I thinking? ChaeKyung wasn't here. She never would be. She was married. And in love.

I looked back at Danielle before smirking and tugging on Mary's elbow. "Let's go somewhere… more private." I picked up my bag and my books from the table where Danielle seemed to be glued. Mary just followed behind, the lost look on her face never fading as her friends chased after me.


	8. Chapter 8: Escape Plan

**I'm so sorry for the wait, and also that this chapter is so short. I promise my uploads will be a lot more regular now, and that my chapters will start to get longer. Thank you so much for everyone who messaged me, encouraging me to keep going, and to keep writing. I know for a fact I would have never come back were it not for all the support. Thanks so much for wanting to read this! You have no idea how much it really means to me! Enjoy (hopefully)**

"Wait wait wait. What exactly is going on here?" Mary tugged her hand out of my grasp, forcing me to stop and turned around. "I went along because I wasn't sure what was happening, but you have to start explaining. Who was that girl? Why was she staring daggers at me? Why did you want to get away so badly?"

"If you let me get a word in edgewise," I interrupted, "maybe I can answer your questions." She smiled sheepishly at me before sitting down on one of the many maroon armchairs scattered in groups of four around the library. This grouping was a little more secluded than the rest. She gestured for me to continue. "That girl was one of my… uh… um… well… "

"Groupies?" she interceded.

I plopped down into the armchair across from her. "They wish. But that will do. Anyways, word has gotten around that I don't have anywhere to go on our holidays. Unfortunately, she is the bravest of the bunch, and decided to be so forward as to invite me to _her_ house for Christmas. Can you imagine how torturous that would be?" I shivered.

"Unfortunate how?"

"What?"

"Unfortunate because she wasn't pretty, or…" she left the end of the sentence blank, waiting for me to fill it in with something that would raise her standards of me.

"No, of course not. Unfortunate that any of these girls are so creepy that they think we're close enough to invite over for Christmas."

"I kind of understand, though."

I looked up from intensely scraping paint off of my nails, surprised. "Understand what? Those girls are creepy!"

"Yes, Yul, I've picked up on that already. I just meant that I sort of understand where they're coming from. No one should be alone on Christmas." She looked at me sadly, her dark eyes nothing but mirrors to my obvious discomfort.

"Well, I made some stupid mistakes, Mary. Now I'm paying for them." I was instantly attacked by images of ChaeKyung – her brown eyes, warm smile, and soft giggles. And then images of my mother – broken, defeated, and without hope. Yeah. I deserved to pay.

"Come with me, Yul. Spend Christmas with my family. No matter what happened to you in the past, don't take it out on Christmas."

I looked up at her, faking a soft smile. "I don't want to intervene on family tradition."

"You wouldn't be. Our tradition is to spend Christmas with as many people as possible. And if you come along, the drive home won't be so lonely." The smile she returned to me was much more genuine than what I was giving her. It was full of encouragement, and I could feel myself taking the bait.

"I'm still not fully convinced… you'd have to feed me for weeks." I joked, seeing if she would still insist.

"So… you want to pay me back somehow?" She questioned. I nodded. That sounded about right. "Alright," she said, standing up and taking my hand. "Come shopping with me." She led me out of the library, exclaiming, "You can help me buy a gift for my boyfriend!"

**One more thing – in the prologue, I explained how this character would be a lot like me. In this time, though, she has really evolved as a person of her own. It's amazing actually. Of course, though, as Irene Adler said, the thing about disguises is that they're always a self-portrait. I'll upload ASAP this time, guys. I promise!**


	9. Chapter 9: Starbucks

**So at first I was going to write a whole shopping scene, but it was boring and absolutely sucked and frankly turned me off of updating for a long time – So I'm really very sorry to the people who diligently follow this. But I'm here now, and I'm finalizing a lot more things about my characters so things are really coming together! Thanks for sticking with me for so long!**

Yul's POV

As we got closer and closer to Mary's home, I could see her mood quickly improving. As I was waiting for her to put some last things together before leaving campus, I could hear her muttering darkly to herself, her face a completely devoid of emotion, as if she were trying really hard to hide some deep dark thoughts. But the person I saw now, 15 minutes from taking an exit off of the freeway, was completely different.

About 20 minutes ago, while filling up gas, she had taken a CD out of her dash and started playing it. At first, going by the appearance of the CD (it was obviously home-made, with no labeling or decoration besides a giant heart drawn in with sharpie) I assumed I would be assuaged with the dulcet tones of a man hopelessly in love. Instead, I was hit with dubstep, remixes, and various instrumental soundtracks. While they were playing, Mary would softly bob her head, hum, sing along to the few words, and sometimes blush at a certain section or particular chord. Needless to say, she was lost within meanings that I didn't understand, ones that came from the time she and her mystery boyfriend spent together.

She had been extremely secretive about this boyfriend so far. Even when searching for a gift, she had only told him that it had to be "special, but not too special. Special, but not suspicious." Questions about whose suspicions couldn't be raised were deftly avoided since, and it had been a good two days since that shopping trip. In the end, she decided on red woolen gloves, while she bought her dad and elder brother scarves from the same store.

She looked at me now, he eyes bright with excitement, before turning her eyes back onto the road. "So I'm meeting Joey in the next town over, at the Starbucks, for a few minutes instead of heading straight home. Is that okay with you?" she asked.

"What would happen if it wasn't okay?" I teased. Despite my obviously playful smile, she blushed and her face fell.

"I'm sorry, what was I thinking, we've been driving for a while and you're probably really uncomfortable sitting here for so long in this car, and you probably want to just go rest and-"

I grabbed her shoulder to cut her off. "I was joking. I really am okay with going to meet this Joey kid. Is it your brother or something?"

She blushed again. "Oh, no, Joey is my… my boyfriend. We just wanted to see eachother once before we…" she didn't finish her sentence here, so I volunteered an ending.

"Go your separate ways?" Mary's eyes grew wide, almost as if she were scared before giving me a reassuring smile and giving me a small nod.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," she replied, almost sadly.

"So, what's this boy like?" I asked, hoping to improve her mood.

"Oh, how do I even begin describing him?" He face held this warm glow now, and her eyes were filled with love at the thought of him. "He's just perfect. For, me, anyways. He's perfect in every way possible - there can't be anyone else out there for me that's as good for me as Joey is. So, I guess, he's not perfect – but I can't think that there's anyone else for me. Not ever."

By the time we parked in the tiny parking lot of the Starbucks she mentioned, Mary was almost bouncing out of her seat again. As soon as we were in park, her eyes darted around looking for Joey. Once she saw him, she was so eager to get out of the car she left the keys as she ran out. I pulled them out for her now as I got out and looked in the direction she was walking, trying extremely hard to look casual. There was a guy – he seemed a little older, but not too much, leaning against a newer model of a black mustang. He had tan skin and long brown hair with a part in the middle that had his hair reaching just past his ears on both sides of his face. While the smile on his face seemed pretty small, I could see in his eyes, even from a couple hundred feet away, that he was just as happy to see her, as she was to see him. I started walking towards the couple just as Mary reached him and threw her arms around his neck. His hands, which until then were resting on his car, now came up to land on her back, where he rubbed her. Judging by the way the muscles on his arm were moving, he was squeezing her close. By this time, I was within hearing distance of them, and I could hear her repeating to him, over and over, "I missed you so much."

She pulled back, put her hands on his cheeks, and gave him a quick chaste kiss before just looking at him, almost soaking in his appearance. It was now, when both of them were fully upright and wrapped in each other's arms that Joey was slightly shorter than Mary. It was obvious that neither of them minded, though. They were staring intently at each other, communicating without words, before slowly leaning in for another kiss.

Although most Americans wouldn't call the kiss passionate – the two had too much self respect to make out in a parking lot – it was intimate enough that I, who had until now been able to watch with only a few twitches of the heart that reminded me of ChaeKyung and what we could have been, had to turn away and stop watching. I just awkwardly sat on the hood of the car next to them and twiddled my fingers.

"I missed you too," I heard him whisper. I looked back over to see him caressing her cheek while smiling at her with what one could consider a smirk. I knew better, though. How many times had Shin smiled at ChaeKyung the same way? It was love, for sure.

"Did you already get a drink?" She asked him. He pointed behind him, to the top of his car, where sat a Starbucks cup. I was guessing it wasn't all that hot anymore. "It's probably cold now," she giggled.

"Yeah, probably. It's okay, whatever. Unless you want me to wait in line with you while you get a drink so you won't be alone." He had let go of Mary now, but was still clasping her right hand tightly in his left, his black leather glove encasing her gray mitten. He was also leaning against the car again.

"No, it's okay. Actually, I brought a friend." She used her other hand to point at me. "This is Yul."

Joey immediately let go of her hand and stood up straight before awkwardly coughing and holding his right hand out for me to shake. "Hey, man, my name's Joey. Nice to meet you."

I clasped his hand and took it, replying, "the pleasure is mine."

He looked back at Mary and stuttered, "So, um, I'm , uh, I'm gonna go… and I will… uh…"

"I'll see you later," Mary smiled.

"Yup," he gave a curt nod to me before getting in his car. Mary started walking towards the entrance of the store and I followed her as Joey started his car and drove away.

After we had gotten our drinks and were sitting in her car, Mary turned to me with a very serious look on her face. "Yul, before I start this car, I really need to make something clear."

I looked at her in surprise, "Yes, what is it?"

"You – this is really important – you can't – my parents – you can't let them know about Joey and I." In response to my confused look, she kept going. "The this is, Joey and I, well, I grew up – my parents, they – basically, he – well, my parents think of him as my uncle."

My eyes widened in surprise, but I didn't judge. I mean, I was in love with my cousin – in – law. "Your uncle?"

"Yeah… he's not actually related to me! I swear it's not like that. Joey was adopted by my mom's family – that's why he's white, while my entire family is Indian. His parents abandoned him when he was a kid. And my dad used to be best friends with my mom's older brother, so he thinks of Joey as his younger brother. And then, when my mom's parents and brother died in an accident, my dad's family took them in. A few years later, my dad married my mom. But, see, the thing is, Joey is their little brother to them. I mean, he's almost 20 years younger, so they're old enough to be his parents, but because they got married so late in life, I don't know, they're super protective. And me – I grew up calling him Uncle Joey! He's always been my most favorite person in the whole world, and I was devastated when he got a job and moved – that was six years ago, when he moved into a dorm to do his master's. He's ten years older. And I realized, somewhere in there, that I didn't just missed him – I was freaking in love with him! And I guess he realized that at some point too, but we tried to fight it, to be with other people. But I'm just – I'm magnetized to him." She was crying at this point. "This relationship, it's a ticking time bomb. And I can't tell anyone about it, because either people know him as my uncle or my boyfriend. And I didn't even think about it, that he would be here, when I invited you!

"But I guess it's a good thing, because now you know. Now SOMEONE knows! So I guess when it all falls apart, when either my parents find out or he decides he doesn't want to sneak around anymore, because there's a beautiful intelligent girl at work or something – now I have someone to talk to." She looked at me for a second, her eyes brimming with tears while she offered a weak smile. "I mean, you don't have to listen, not if you don't want to. I mean, you probably don't care, right?" She wiped away her tears. "I'm sorry for unloading on you like this – I mean, look at you, you haven't even taken a sip of your coffee! I'm sorry, you don't have to worry about my messed up relationships and me, it's really okay. I'm sorry."

She wouldn't look me in the eye now. It's surprising how alike we really were, despite how different our personalities were. I know what she's going through, despite the fact that I'm a lot more messed up. "You, know, Mary, don't start the car. I think I need to tell you my story."

**Well, I know this is a lot to take in all at once, so I hope it's okay. Feel free to contact me with questions. Also, I'm obviously not going to put Yul's story in the next chapter – because we all know it already. Thank you for reading! Now that I quit my job, I'm actually going to have time to write, so expect a new chapter sometime this week. I pinky promise. And cross my heart. Please tell me what you think! The only thing that encouraged me to start writing again after I gave up was reading all the reviews telling me you guys actually like this story and want me to update and continue.**


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